I’d rather have a Fuck Boy. At least I know what I’m walking into—a disappointing, non committed, disrespectful 3 am “u up?” kind of thing. You know where you stand, and that’s at the bottom of their priorities.
But, Nice Guys? No, guys who think they are being “nice” give you whiplash and a dull ache in the pit of your stomach that is reassured by waves of their “nice” behavior. They also go by “friendly guys”—the ones with a of friends—friends that are girls.
Their Instagram is filled with a dizzying endless list of Lexi’s, Liz’s, Annika’s, Sarah’s, Jenna’s, Maddie’s, Charlotte’s, and Ashley’s. Always active, always friendly comments, on never ending countless pictures. They “like” everything and from everyone. You think you’re special, but really you’re just another pretty face with cute (insert hair, nose, smile, outfits, eyes) they keep in their confidence boosting repertoire—feeding their malnourished insecurities they love to neglect.
In the quiet of the night, when they get too lonely that isn’t enough for the instant gratification of social media to sustain, they’ll think of you (or Liz, or Jenna, or Sarah) and know it would be a “fuck boy” move to text you right then and there. They think they’re not that desperate, too smart and too much a catch to stoop to Fuck Boy level. This is when they start to craft a master plan they bury in sad excuses so they don’t have to accept the reality of their next actions.
They’ll choose their prey, unconsciously of course, they’ll make themselves believe this is the girl they like (for now), and move to strike. A friendly text, a smile—the kind of attention this girl has probably been craving for awhile.
It starts with an innocent hang out, one with some kind of deep connection and he’ll make lots of concerned faces, and she’ll think “wow he’s really listening.” He’ll be thoughtful and he’ll use his “I’m a nice guy I get hurt by mean girls” act to lure you in. She’ll want to comfort him and his wounded ego. Nice Guys are too “wounded” to think they can be in relationships, and you’ll feel special because they opened up to you about it—they were just being honest, of course.
It’ll be your choice all along, he’ll be so nice you never realized you ended up in the bed of someone who puts “up for anything” in his Tinder profile.
The endless downward spiral of two people wanting to feed their egos with opposing strategies begins and they tumble further into a confusing, hurtful, disgusting dance.
He’ll give you what he thinks you want, to get what he wants, even though you never asked for it. Nice Guys love to introduce you to their families, friends, house, and routines. That’s how they stay the respectful good guy.
The worst thing you can do is let this cloud what this thing really is—remember, he’s too hurt to be in a real relationship.
And six months in, he’ll be sorry he gave you mixed signals. And you’ll feel like a fool for believing any of his actions could mean more than they did or that he’d be the least bit remorseful—I mean, you’d think you’d be past “mixed signals” when you two have gone through so much, right? ….right?
Your thoughts will always fall into an echo chamber, filled with whispered warnings of girls past, and never on the ears that need to hear your prayers.
You’ll hope you were the one to break the cycle, the one to help him “find himself”….But…when the nights get lonely again, when the tank of his ego, and masculinity dries, he’ll want to fill it with another’s sweet nothings. And in twisted irony, both of you will be scrolling through his Instagram simultaneously, searching for meaning again.
So Nice Guys, This is why girls go for the Fuck Boy. When you’re with a Fuck Boy, you’re never really holding onto something you thought would be worth it, or mutual, or special. All you can do is roll your eyes at the 3am text and decide to go over to his or go back the fuck to sleep.